Have You Served? The One Question Every Agent and Loan Officer Should Ask This Veterans Day
By Brett Stacy, Founder of Operation T.A.G.
This Wednesday, a lot of us will say, “Thank you for your service.” On Thursday, when a family sits across from us and tells us they’re trying to buy a home, will we remember to ask if they served?
I’m asking that question of myself and everyone who works in real estate or mortgage lending. We ask buyers about their budget, their timeline, and where they want to live. Somewhere in that first conversation, there’s room for one more question:
“Have you or your spouse served in the military?”
Then give them time to answer.
One simple question can open an important conversation
A family may not know that their military service could be relevant to their homebuying plans. They may not know what the VA home loan benefit offers, whether they remain eligible, or whom to ask for reliable guidance.
The question isn’t a promise of qualification. It isn’t a reason to make assumptions about someone’s service or finances. It’s an invitation to share, if they’re comfortable, and an opportunity for us to listen before offering a next step.
On November 7, the Department of Veterans Affairs highlighted its work with the National Association of REALTORS® to help more eligible veterans, service members, and surviving spouses understand the VA home loan benefit. VA also pointed to a problem that still gets in the way: outdated assumptions about how VA loans work, including how long they take and how sellers view them.
Outdated assumptions can make families rule out an option too soon
Think about the buyer who used a VA loan years ago and assumes they’ve used up the benefit. Or the family that heard a seller would never take a VA offer seriously.
By the time they sit down with us, they may have already crossed that option off their list. One question gives us a chance to hear what they’ve been told and help them check it before they make a decision.
Here are a few assumptions worth approaching with care:
- “I’ve used my VA benefit, so it’s gone.” VA loan entitlement is generally reusable under VA rules. A buyer who used it before may still be eligible today, depending on their circumstances and available entitlement.
- “Sellers won’t consider a VA offer.” The VA-NAR partnership is working to correct outdated assumptions about seller appeal. A VA-financed offer still depends on the details of the transaction, the property, and the parties involved.
- “VA loans always take too long or cost too much.” VA says these perceptions may reflect outdated information or misunderstandings. Timing and costs depend on the individual transaction and lender; buyers should get clear, current information before deciding.
For details, visit the Real Estate Professionals VA Home Loan Toolkit. VA says the toolkit includes eligibility guidance, buyer resources, quick-reference materials, and educational content for housing professionals. The NAR video, “VA Home Loans Explained: What Veterans and REALTORS® Need to Know,” is another resource for understanding the conversation.
VA notes that eligible borrowers may be able to purchase with no down payment, and VA loans do not require private mortgage insurance. Those features, and whether they matter to a particular family, should be discussed with a qualified lending professional. No one should assume a loan is right for a buyer without reviewing their goals and circumstances.
The next step is listening, not rushing
If you’re a real estate agent or loan officer, put that question into your first conversation with buyers. If someone says yes, let them decide how much they want to share.
Then help them find reliable answers. You might offer the VA toolkit, discuss their homebuying goals, or connect them with a licensed lending professional who understands VA financing.
And sometimes, after talking it through, the best decision for that family is to wait. They deserve just as much of our time and respect when that’s the answer.
A meaningful conversation isn’t measured only by whether someone buys a home. It’s also measured by whether they felt heard, understood their options, and had the space to make a decision that fits their family.
A tangible act of gratitude can be simple
This is part of why I started Operation T.A.G. The letters stand for Tangible Act of Gratitude.
In our line of work, that can be as straightforward as taking a few extra minutes to answer someone’s questions. It can mean walking through the costs with a family at their kitchen table or helping them find someone who understands VA financing. And sometimes, after talking it through, the best decision for that family is to wait. They deserve just as much of our time and respect when that’s the answer.
Gratitude isn’t a certification. It’s something you do.
For real estate and mortgage professionals, it can begin with one question, and continue with patience, accurate information, and a genuine willingness to help. That’s one way we can keep standing up for those who stood up for us.
Military family? Start with a resource you can read at your own pace
If you’re part of a military family and wondering where to begin, I wrote Mission Homeownership for you. It’s a free field guide you can read at your own pace and bring to your next conversation with an agent or lender.
Get your free copy of Mission Homeownership. The download link goes straight to the download form.
Operation T.A.G. is not a lender. We provide education and connect interested families with licensed lending partners.
A Veterans Day reminder for the days after the holiday
I’ll be saying “thank you” on Wednesday, too. And when the next family sits down with me, I want to remember that what I ask, how well I listen, and what I do next are all part of saying it.
If you’re a real estate agent or loan officer, keep the VA Home Loan Toolkit handy. If you’re a military family, bring your questions, and Mission Homeownership, to your next conversation. You deserve clear information, patient guidance, and the chance to decide what’s right for you.
Frequently asked questions
Can a veteran use the VA home loan benefit more than once?
Generally, yes. VA loan entitlement is reusable under VA rules. A buyer who used the benefit years ago may still be eligible today. Verify your specific situation with a VA-approved lender or at VA.gov.
Do sellers really refuse VA offers?
That’s an outdated assumption the VA and NAR are working to correct. VA-financed offers can be competitive, and eligible borrowers may be able to buy with no down payment. Each offer and transaction is different.
What’s the one question professionals should ask?
“Have you or your spouse served in the military?” Then give them time to answer.
What is the Real Estate Professionals VA Home Loan Toolkit?
It’s a VA resource that helps real estate professionals answer common questions and address myths about VA home loans. Explore the toolkit.
What is Mission Homeownership?
Brett Stacy’s free field guide for military families navigating the homebuying journey. It’s written to read at your own pace and bring to your next conversation with an agent or lender. Get the free copy.
What is the Hometown Hero Credit?
A credit of 2% of the loan amount, up to $21,000, toward eligible closing costs for eligible military families. It is available in 49 states through lending partner PRMG, subject to program guidelines and eligibility. Operation T.A.G. is not a lender and connects families with licensed partners.
Operation T.A.G. is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization, not a lender. All mortgage applications, loan terms, rates, and lending services are provided by appropriately licensed lending partners. PRMG NMLS #75243.
Brett Stacy
Founder & National Director, Operation T.A.G.™
National Brand Ambassador, Hometown Hero Credit™
Military Family Advocate | Author | Speaker
OperationTAG.org | HometownHeroCredit.com
P.S. If you know a veteran or military family thinking about buying a home, please pass this along. If you’d like more stories and practical resources for military families, subscribe to Hometown Hero Credit.